Conformism is the attitude of accepting the status quo, the “orders” from somebody we deem “superior” to us (call it culture, friends, co-workers, family) sometimes with the effect of damaging self esteem, and giving up our true nature.

The traditional educational system teaches students to follow the rules, get the work done, get an A (or a 10), and do it again. However, who sets what is “A worthy”? The teacher, the principal, the system. What happens when a boy draws a green apple when the teacher was expecting a red one? He gets reprimanded.

Fast forward 20 years.

You have adults used to follow the rules. Whose forced human nature is one of following, not leading, of complaining, not fixing.

Complaints are easy: find something you don’t like about your work and tell your spouse, find something you don’t like about your spouse, go tell your coworker. I have a friend, the air conditioning at his work wasn’t working. I saw his complaints on Facebook about how hot it was at his office. For two weeks. Finally, the other day he announced that the AC was fixed. Why wasn’t it fixed before? Turns out, nobody called the person responsible of fixing it. He told all his friends in Facebook, probably his coworkers did the same; and yet, nobody called the AC repair company!

We complain with the wrong people because it’s safer, easier, and we get instant “gratification”. We complain with the wrong people because we like to feel like victims of our own circumstances, and we want others to tell us how sorry they feel for us; which, in exchange, makes us feel better.

The solution? The next time you’re going to complain about something, ask yourself: “Can this person fix what I’m complaining about?”.  By complaining with the right person, you’re going to make your life easier, reduce your stress levels, and be more enjoyable to be with. I’m sure this is going to work with you, as it worked fabulously with me.

What do you think? Do you complain with the right people?